What Do We Lose When We Stop Playing?
MORNING RUN ALONG THE SUMIDA RIVER, TOKYO, JAPAN, 2023
Sitting outside on a wall with a coffee yesterday, while scribbling ideas on paper (real paper with a pencil-admittedly hard to decipher later) I was taking in the world around me.
In a caged basketball court, reminiscent of those in NYC's lively Lower East Side where I once lived, kids were playing with palpable energy. Their aliveness vibrated across the square—the laughing, shouting, alertness, and quick reflexes showcased their intense engagement and full presence in the moment.
This vibrant scene contrasted sharply with the "serious" world rushing by—stern-faced adults, often glued to their phones, hurrying to their next appointment.
As we focus on reaching our next (scripted) milestone, it seems we largely forget about play as we "grow up." This made me wonder:
Are we losing more than we realize when we let play slip out of our lives?
When was the last time you did something beyond logical reason, feeling fully present, just by relating to wherever you were? Can you recall a moment when you felt deeply engaged without worrying about the outcome?
Do you find yourself drained at times from the ever-prevailing routine focused on achieving set goals, confirming the age-old proverb that "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?"
What does it mean to Play?
The Oxford Learner's Dictionary defines play as "to do things for pleasure, as children do; to enjoy yourself, rather than work."
Engaging in activities for enjoyment and recreation rather than a "serious" or practical purpose captures my deep need for hiking, which defies rational purpose—climbing a mountain only to descend again—yet my soul never questions this.
As the German-Jewish author Berthold Auerbach highlights: "One often needs the most unnecessary things the most." It's a poignant reminder that:
What we deem unnecessary or trivial in life often turns out to be what we deeply crave or depend on most to balance our energy levels.
It highlights the irony of human prioritization, that we often ignore how the seemingly superfluous can carry profound emotional or existential value.
Unlike strategized gaming, which might train reflexes and mental agility but can easily tilt towards an unhealthy distraction, true play connects us to a field of limitless possibilities beyond the mind.
Play allows us to explore, innovate, and connect with our authentic strengths. It helps us get to know parts of ourselves we didn't even know were there or that we had forgotten.
Playing is about experimentation and exploration, allowing us to learn and discover new things in a low-pressure environment.
Alan Watts, a philosopher known for interpreting Eastern philosophy for Western audiences, calls this the real secret to life—"to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play."
Research has shown that play stimulates the growth of the cerebral cortex during childhood and continues to promote brain plasticity in adulthood, enhancing problem-solving skills and creativity.
Two of my impressively mentally and physically fit relatives who reached inspiring 90s and 100s worked on puzzles, Scrabble, or crosswords daily.
In team sports, it becomes evident how play cultivates relationships through shared experiences as the synergy between play, social community, and individual contributions of strengths becomes apparent.
The Decline of Creative Play in Modern Society
When talking to a friend who had been working on a project, responsible for making costumes for a show, we observed how the playful approach to creative development has vastly changed in the past decade.
She was struggling to find people who see creative garment development as something that includes trying things out via trial and error, which often leads to innovative new techniques, ideas, and designs.
In their 20s-30s, the applicants were primarily interested in a precise plan towards a predefined result, unengaged in the idea of innovating something of their own.
It made us wonder to what degree the current era of instant entertainment and distraction might play a role.
We questioned if the innate creative drive doesn't get a chance to be ignited in the first place, as it is numbed by limitless external input before it can take flight. It highlighted the question:
Do our limitless distractions keep us from developing the stamina to break through that shaky feeling of having a "blank canvas," that space we need to allow ourselves to come up with something new?
Many friends of mine in the fashion business are increasingly frustrated by a rather uncreative trend of being pushed to merely copy whatever garments seem successful at so-called "competitor brands."
Innovation through playful experimentation is increasingly frowned upon as a waste of paid time, as the pressure to perform suffocates the trust in creative innovation to convince the customer who is lured into wanting "sameness" in a world of increasing conformity.
This trend largely results in comparable brands having very similar products. The other day, I recognized that a person I know took the helm at a known commercial fashion brand, as the clothing range was almost identical down to the details we had developed together for a brand we had worked at previously.
These tendencies make me wonder: Are we losing more than just the aspect of play? Are we risking losing our most natural coping mechanisms required in a world that feels increasingly insecure?
Are we failing to cultivate our most powerful innate human trait as creatively playful, curious beings that can help us find stability within an increasingly uncertain world?
What are we Missing Out on?
Some of the best creative work I've collaborated on has emerged from a playful approach—experimenting with aspects of a project away from the watchful eye of the final presentation.
The proverb "success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm" captures the essence of embracing the power of letting things come together through trial and error.
It encourages doing something out of character within familiar territory, like using unusual material for a known basic dress shape. Churchill's words support this mindset:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts"
It's that courage that seems to be numbed by seeking security in a familiar structure. It's what keeps us from "daring greatly," as Brené Brown so compellingly urges in her book of the same name.
We keep ourselves from tapping into uncharted territory by constantly flooding our senses with conceptualized external input.
It's also what tragically dulls our enthusiasm as we discourage ourselves before trying.
Ironically, it was through an "error" that we made the cover with a runway gown at a company I worked for, that had been dyed with gallons of black tea.
Someone spilled a cup on the organza one afternoon. This ignited a string of tea-dying trials, pushing the envelope of commercially acceptable dying towards even successful sales pieces.
Amusingly, the idea was presented on the cover as a mastermind concept, even though the mind was barely involved when creativity ran its natural course.
How Releasing Pressure Propels us Forward
As we "responsively" build our lives, moving outside of the conditioned planning grid and away from ticking boxes seldom finds space. Space to grant ourselves the regenerating power of spending time without a declared goal, yet:
Inspiringly, it is precisely a "lack" of goal-orientation that often propels us forward with more clarity, enhancing our results in life and work beyond imaginable, as we find our groove in an off-pressure vibe.
Seneca reminds us that "under pressure, talents do not deliver the performance one might expect from them; the effort is in vain."
This reflects an aspect of Stoic philosophy, emphasizing that external pressure or stress often hinders rather than enhances natural abilities. It's a pointer towards creating conditions that allow talents to flourish freely by not forcing results too hastily with rigid expectations.
The Power of Open-Minded Curiosity
Throughout my years in design, it became apparent that to truly understand clothes, we had to wear them—playfully observing how they met our needs.
No theory could replace the experience of wearing garments in the midst of daily action.
This hands-on approach revealed practical (and often amusing) insights: lovingly draped double-bowed wrist ties ended up dangling irritatingly into our lunch soup, while artfully designed overlength belts dragged along the street, hanging a yard out of the car door during our commute—much to the amusement of colleagues.
Reading “The Black Swan” by Nassim Nicholas Taleb reinforced my belief in the value of play and embracing trial and error as tools for innovation.
Taleb highlights how unexpected discoveries often arise from granting freedom in exploration, supported by the mindset of a scientist.
He recounts the success of a company managed by someone who “had the instinct, as a scientist, to just let scientists look wherever their instinct took them. Commercialization came later."
Merging Flavors, Traditions, and Rules
An Iraqi friend who came to Sweden as a refugee and worked as a bag designer in Paris while frequently working in Italy is an amazing cook.
She always says that cooking is her relaxing playground where she toys around with different cultures—mixing traditional recipes, contradicting her equally talented mom's teachings, experimenting with spices, and seeing what might work unexpectedly.
Away from classic instructions, she often creates surprisingly delicious mixtures not found in any cookbook—dishes you wouldn't necessarily try from a rational point of view.
Working with What We Have
In many ways, play involves working with what's available—contrary to our minds' constant craving for newness. It seems that sticking with boredom a bit longer, pushing past the allure of novelty, can often lead us to deeper dimensions of what is already there.
Sylvain Tesson, who lived in a cabin in the Taiga for six months to regain energy away from societal norms, offers his own perspective on the simplicity of play.
He describes his structured days and recounts playing simple games with two wild dogs that traced his steps. These moments taught him “to inhabit the only country worth living in: the moment… Man's particular sin is to have lost this capacity the dog has for retrieving the same bone.” It’s a reminder that:
Play is about reinvention—bringing the familiar into new contexts, making more of simple ingredients, and expanding what already exists.
The other day, I laughed with a friend about how we had just ten cassette tapes as kids. We replayed them countless times, rolling up the tape-band repeatedly when they wore out.
She mentioned how her child, with limitless streaming services at his fingertips, finds repeating a story an affront to his overstimulated senses.
While I doubt this is an isolated case, I wonder if we lose more than we realize when we dull our innate human curiosity for exploring more deeply where we are.
There is deep value in playing
Creativity Unlocks The Unpredictable: Remember that tea-dyeing experiment? That's the magic of open-minded curiosity. It's amazing how innovative we get when we're not obsessing over the "correctness" of the process.
Learning That Sticks: Physics class was a bit of a snooze until we started doing hands-on experiments. Suddenly, concepts clicked. Play makes learning feel effortless and memorable.
Playing Builds Relationships: Those nightshift runway challenges have frequently turned out to be more than about fashion—they often ended up being about forging friendships. Play has this inspiring way of turning colleagues into more as we create shared experiences and memories.
Playing Reduces Stress: Have you ever watched animals play-fight, then shake it off? Play does that for us too. It's like hitting a reset button on all that pent-up tension as we decompress, helping to alleviate stress and anxiety.
Playing Encourages Flexibility: Play teaches us to roll with the punches. In a world that's changing faster than we can blink, play keeps us nimble. It's our secret ingrained attribute for staying adaptable in the face of uncertainty.
Bottom line: Play isn't just kid stuff. It's our ticket to growth, innovation, and staying sane in this wild world of ours.
Give it a try: Dip a toe into integrating playfulness into your daily life:
Have your coffee in a glass, use your fancy silverware for takeaway food, or have a picnic on the grass. Join your kids in painting, working with clay, or building sand castles.
Be bold, subtly break those rigid rules every day to remind yourself that your conditioning isn't as fixed as you might think. Be less serious about yourself and enjoy engaging with life more.
Rattle those cages you hold yourself stuck in. Let yourself out by getting out of your head and into the security of flexibly meeting every moment that life presents you with.
When we approach life's challenges with a playful spirit, we're more likely to find innovative solutions and maintain our enthusiasm, even in the face of adversity.
By nurturing our innate capacity for play, we cultivate the ability to navigate life's complexities with greater ease.
Next time you face a daunting task or a complex problem, ask yourself: How can I approach this playfully? What might a child ask? What would my younger curious self do?
You might be surprised by what you discover by going beyond what seems rationally logical upon first thought.
Being playful makes us more capable of facing the current world of uncertainties than any rigid plan ever will.
It's our most powerful tool to work with whatever we face, to roll with the punches, bend with the curveballs in the "game of life," and feel alive while doing so.
Have you asked yourself:
How has your relationship with play changed as you've grown older? Why?
Do you feel judgmental about play being a waste of time?
Where does this come from? Is it your own truth?
Can you identify an area in your life where more playfulness might lead to innovation or problem-solving?
Can you embrace trial and error as part of innovative expansion?
What's one small way you could incorporate more play into your daily routine?